


The Price

by immortal_katharina99



Series: The Price [1]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Het, Het and Slash, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Rape, Sexual Slavery, Slash, Slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-04-24
Updated: 2011-04-24
Packaged: 2017-10-18 15:15:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/190214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortal_katharina99/pseuds/immortal_katharina99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angelus has returned and managed to defeat the Slayer. In the wake of her death, Spike agrees to keep one of the Scoobies as a Pet in order to save their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Story is laid out as a series of journal entries from some time in a nebulous future. Chapters are from the journals or diaries of various characters from the story. I may decide to date or preface the chapters at some point, but not for now.
> 
> In some cases the characters are reflecting back on how they remember feeling at the particular point in time they are retelling, so tense may go back and forth.

It’s kind of weird. In the end, I suppose that it was inevitable. One girl against the forces of darkness, not the greatest of odds. She had to keep beating them thousands of times; they only had to take her down once. Buffy lost just one battle and it was all over. For all of us.

It’s strange, the fragmented things that your memory fixates on: the last few drops of blood dribbling down her neck and soaking into her blonde hair, the sound of Dawnie calling out her sister’s name over and over.

I just remember feeling numb. Oddly though, the time between the bastard killing Buff and the ritual, I really don’t remember very well. It’s all kind of fuzzy. Bits and pieces come back to me, here and there, but there are major things that I just don’t recall. I don’t even remember where they had us locked up like animals. I have vague memories, flashes really, of what it was like but nothing concrete. I can remember the floor being cold. I remember that it was dark and that there was a bare light bulb hanging on the wall across from the only door to the room. It would blind me every time one of the blood suckers would come for one of us.

I also remember wondering how much force it would take to smash my skull in against the stone wall. It seemed like a better way to go at the time.  
I don’t remember how many days went by, or even the names and faces of those that were locked up with me.

Some things are achingly clear though. I remember being dragged before that blood sucking, murderous, back stabbing… backstabber. He was sitting there, holding court. It was a good thing a couple of minions had a hold of me or I would have done something really stupid.

I know, not a shocker. It’s not like even then I didn’t know I couldn’t possibly take him. But hey, blind rage does funny things to people. He had this smirk on his face, he was just so damned pleased with himself. I think he kept me alive that long just so he’d have someone to gloat to.

There were vamps everywhere. I don’t know how he managed to get so many minions in such a short time. Of course I suppose lots of lower level demons flocked to him after he killed Buffy Summers. And it’s not like Angelus didn’t have his own rep. Now that he’d gotten rid of that pesky soul of his, lots of evil flunkies were lining up to ride on his coattails.

The evil undead looked me up and down really slowly. It made me uncomfortable in a kind of scared to death, “come sit on Santa’s lap, Jimmy” kind a way. He chuckled and shook his head at me, before turning to his left to a crowd of his lackeys.

“Doesn’t really seem worth it. Are you sure you want to do this? There’s still time to change your mind, my boy,” Angelus chuckled.

The next voice I heard turned my blood to ice water. “Let’s bloody well get on with this.”

The sad thing is that a tiny part of me was comforted by the bleached one’s presence, even though it was obvious he was with them. They parted the way for him like he was some sort of chosen one.

His face was totally blank as he came for me. His left hand wrapped around the back of my neck. It was like being held in a vice. I’d let myself forget just how strong he really is. The two flunkies that had been holding me let go and stepped back, merging into the crowd. Not that it made any difference. I was on the ground before I even knew what was happening.

“I knew we couldn’t trust you. I knew you’d turn on us,” I spat, fully expecting those to be my last words. I wasn’t really surprised when he ripped off what was left of my shirt, but I froze when his free hand went after the buttons of my jeans. The shock only lasted a second, and then I started to struggle. I tried to fight him as hard as I could, but it was like trying to loosen a statues’ grip.

Just like that I was naked in front of tall dark and evil’s fan club. I could hear them cheering in the background clapping and urging Spike on. I just started shaking my head from side to side and whispering no over and over again, as if somehow that would stop him. I think I started adding please when I heard the zipper from his jeans being pulled down. Or maybe I imagined it; with all the noise the crowd was making I don’t see how I could have picked up that sound. It doesn’t really matter, I guess, whether I heard it or not. It doesn’t change what happened next.

It hurt so much, I can’t really think of words to describe it. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. I wished I would have. I can still remember Angelus laughing in the background. I’m not sure exactly, when I started crying, but I know that I did. It seemed to go on forever and ever. After a while I just stopped fighting him. I just sort of laid there, and prayed it would be over soon.

He didn’t say a word to me the entire time. He barely even looked at me. I was actually surprised that he didn’t smack me when I started fighting him. In a way it was worse that he didn’t. It made me feel even more insignificant and weak, like I wasn’t the slightest bit of a threat to him. He just kept me pinned down without any effort at all.

When he switched to his real face I wasn’t scared, I was grateful. He spoke to me for the first time then. He looked me right in the eyes.

I couldn’t understand what was being said. I’m not an expert, but it sounded like something out of one of Giles’ dusty old books. I did pick up my name somewhere in the middle of Blondies’ speech. He switched his grip on me and all of a sudden my upper body was being lifted towards him. He was still inside me, mercilessly pumping in and out, ripping me up inside. I could feel something warm and wet running down my backside and between my thighs. I knew it was my own blood.

I didn’t resist when he brought my neck the rest of the way up to his lips. I shuddered when I felt his tongue lapping at my throat, but I barely felt his fangs pierce my skin. I wish I could say that it was rapture, and that I suddenly understood why Riley Finn had done what he did. I think I was in too much pain at the time though. Not so much though, that I didn’t feel the warm wave of magic washing over us, binding me to William the bloody for the rest of my life.


	2. Part 1

He looked unnaturally small and fragile laying beneath me. The smell of his blood and my semen mixing together just flooded my senses, which was probably a good thing, since the boy hadn’t bathed in days. Not that the whelp had been given the option mind you.

I hadn’t quite expected him to bleed as much as he did though. Putting us both through this wouldn’t have done much good if he died right after the bloody claiming. The boy was sobbing. He’d completely given up on trying to push me away. I shook my head, I could sit and brood like some great magnificent tosser later. Better yet I could just act like a bloke and deal with it. Point being I had other priorities.

I scented the boy, trying to concentrate despite the racket the Poof’s followers were making. Good, he was bleeding, but it didn’t smell like he was in serious danger. He wasn’t resisting me at all though, which was unlike him enough to worry me. Well there was nothing I could do about it in the middle of Angelus’ “Great Hall”. And he wonders why I call him a ponce.

I straightened myself, and then picked the boy up leaving his clothing behind. They were rags at this point anyway. Harris weighed surprisingly little. I Don’t suppose the wanker had been feeding the captives all that much. I turned to look at Angelus; if the bastard wasn’t satisfied, I didn’t know what I was going to do. I wanted so badly to wipe the damn smirk off his bloody face, but there was no way I could fight my way out of here with all these minions around. Well maybe if I had been alone… At any rate, for the moment I… we were at his mercy. After what seemed like an eternity, he nodded giving me leave.

If I hadn’t been carrying the whelp, I probably would have gone after the king of hair gel when I heard the wanker start to applaud. In a way it’s a good thing the boy started trembling, it forced me to focus on the problem at hand.

I shoved my way out of the hall, snarling at anyone who came near us. How my grandsire managed to find another of these mausoleums in Sunny hell, I’ll never know. The great psychotic one is a bloodhound for the sodding things.

I made my way up a couple of floors and down the corridor towards the west wing, to the quarters I’d been assigned. There were a couple of minions standing guard outside the door of course. For my protection Angelus had insisted. After all there were still plenty of demons out there angry that I’d been the Slayer’s lapdog. I didn’t bother mentioning that the same could be said of him. As long as they stayed the Hell away from me and the boy, I’d live with it.

I was a little surprised when one of the minions opened the door for us. I could have managed, but it would have been awkward with the boy cradled in my arms. I walked in and kicked the door shut behind us. I made my way to the bathroom and found that my instructions had actually been followed; there was a hot bath waiting for the boy. I hadn’t been all that sure the minions would honor my request or even listen in the first place.

I set the boy down next to the old claw foot tub and dipped my hand in to make sure the water wasn’t scalding. It was was a little on the warm side, but still nothing unbearable. At least I wasn’t going to be bathing the boy in a tub full of acid, which frankly I wouldn’t put past that arse Angelus.

I picked the boy back up and lowered him carefully into the steaming water. He still hadn’t said a word this entire time, which would have worried me with any of the Scobbies, but with this one it was particularly out of character. I took one of the washcloths off of the ridiculously ornate towel rack and soaked it, before gently trying to scrub away some of the week’s grime covering the slayerette.

He’d been silent for so long, that when he spoke, I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Don’t touch me.”

“I’m just trying to clean you up a bit.” I told him. I wasn’t sure what to say to him. Hallmark doesn’t exactly make greetings for this sort of occasion.

“Washing away the evidence you mean,” the youth sneered. I was actually relieved. His voice had a hysterical edge to it, but at least he was talking. At any rate he seemed to be a lot closer to his usual belligerent self.

“You watch to much CSI, pet,” I replied trying to keep my voice light. I was all too aware of what I’d just done. I also knew that things were going to get worse before they got better.

“I’m not your fucking pet.” There right on schedule, the words that could get us all killed.  
In retrospect there must have been a better way to handle the next few moments, but damned if I’ve come up with it. The soul, for all its supposed glory hasn’t added mush to my existence, but a big heaping pile of guilt.

He shrieked as I reached over and grabbed his throat by one hand. My other arm shot under water and caressed the one place I knew he never wanted me to touch again. His breath was coming in panicked gasps.

“Actually Alexander, that’s precisely what you now are. Marked by me in every way. You’re mine now.” How I kept my voice from cracking during that little speech I still don’t know. The boy’s heart was beating furiously. I could literally smell his fear. He’d unconsciously started shaking again.

I had his undivided attention now. I just hoped he would listen to me. I loosened my grip on his neck and started lightly caressing the flesh there, careful not to upset the fresh bite mark. I quickly removed my other hand from between his legs. My shirt sleeve was sopping, but I ignored it, I just started cleaning him again.

“I claimed you as mine. You’re marked now. Every Vampire or demon that you come across now, will know that you are mine. You’re marked as my property,” I explained in what I hoped was a soothing tone of voice.

“Why?” he whispered. I wasn’t even sure what he was asking. Why I was saying this? Why would I want to make him mine? Why had I raped him?

“It wasn’t my idea, pet. I’m sorry,” It wasn’t adequate and it never would be. The only thing I could do now was look after him the best I could.

“Sorry? You’re fucking sorry?” He spat. He had every right to be angry and I knew it. That however didn’t make his resentful gaze any easier to bare.

“I had to Xander. Certain concessions had to be made to keep you and the Bit alive. You, what just happened to you, was the price we had to pay for your lives,” I told him shedding my wet shirt. I think I pulled it off just so I could avoid looking at him for a moment.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He demanded grabbing my wrist and stopping the compulsive washing just I’d resumed.

“Angelus,” I answered uneasily.

“You’re saying that Angelus made you…” the boy faltered turning his gaze away.

“Rape you. Yes in a way,” there I’d managed to say it. I’d raped the boy, violated him in the worst way possible.

“What the Hell does that mean? In a way?” He demanded angrily.

“Angelus agreed to allow you and Dawn to live, if and only if I claimed you as a pet. Taking you sexually, as well as biting you was part of the claiming ritual.” I explained.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? I would have let you if… if it meant he would let Dawnie go,” He whispered in an unsteady voice. At least he seemed to be listening to me. He was still afraid, but was at least cautiously considering that what I was telling him was the truth.

“Tilt your head back,” I ordered, pushing him back so I could wash some of the grime out of his hair. “You couldn’t know before hand. It was part of the agreement that I made with my Grandsire. I asked to be allowed to speak to you, but he refused, said if I warned you ahead of time the deal was off.” I explained. The next part of the explanation I wasn’t looking forward to. The boy was going to explode. “Xander, I said he’d agreed to let her live. I never said anything about letting her go,” I told him as I rinsed the shampoo out of his hair.

“What, where is she?” He demanded, trying to bat me away as I attempted to towel his hair dry.

I hesitated a moment before answering. “In his bed,” I replied, letting the water out of the tub without meeting his eyes.

“What? You left Dawnie with that maniac!” He shouted, as I did my best to dry him off with a fluffy white towel. The boy was so exhausted that he was barely able to stand, let alone fight me off.

“She’s alive. He needed some practical reason to keep her alive. Something that wouldn’t make him lose face in the demon community. Besides, He’s always liked them young and innocent. What do you think Darla’s little school girl routine was all about,” I asked scooping him back into my arms.

“How do you know about that? You weren’t even in Sunnydale back then?” He asked, he seemed more curious then anything else.

“The slayer told me about it once,” I answered, laying him carefully in the center of the large four poster bed that dominated the bedroom. He eyed me warily as I reached into the nightstand for the supplies I’d left there. I took out a bottle of antiseptic and quickly cleaned the bite mark on his neck. It had pretty much already stopped bleeding, but I taped a piece of gauze there just for good measure. The boy thankfully didn’t fight me as I did this.

His other injuries, I was afraid he wouldn’t be so cooperative about. I pulled out the jar of ointment that I’d sent the minions out to the healer to get, and set it down on the bed beside him.

“I’m going to turn you onto your stomach now,” I warned him as I reached to do just that. It was obvious he would have fought me if he’d still had the energy.

“Calm down pet,” I tried to soothe; careful not to touch him more than was necessary. ”This ointment is going to help you heal. It’s a bit of a potion really, got it from a demon healer. I need you to spread your legs for me,” I warned, moving his legs apart.

“S…Spike. Please don’t. I can’t,” he begged me, tears beginning to run down his cheeks.

“Pet this is going to help you. It will make you feel better, I promise. All you need to do is lay still and try to relax. It’ll be over soon.” I tried to reassure, carefully rubbing his back.

“Why did you have to be so rough in the first place,” Xander reproached.

“I’m sorry, but you needed to bleed. Our fluids needed to mix for the chant’s magic to work,” I really wasn’t the demon to explain it to him. I really didn’t know that much about the demon traditions. The watcher probably knows more about it to be honest.

“That’s just… gross.” He replied, scrunching up his face.

“Most demon rituals tend to be, whelp. Look, I’d prefer to use this on you, but I won’t force the issue. I was told it would help numb the pain a little. You could try to apply it yourself, but it would be easier if it was done for you,” I offered.

“Okay,” He Agreed. I shouldn’t be surprised. This one has never been short on bravery.

I nodded to him, picking the jar up off of the bed. “It’s going to be a little cool,” I warned. He whimpered as soon as my finger came into contact with his red and torn anus.

“Keep talking to me pet,” I suggested, hoping to distract the boy long enough to finish my ministrations.

“Why? Why did Angelus make you do this?”

“It amuses him. He knows bloody well that we’ve never gotten on. The idea of us shackled to each other for the rest of your life, well it’s just the kind of joke he’d love.”

“Yeah, I guess he would get some twisted thrill out of this. Oh God, please no. I don’t think I can do this,” my brunet companion moaned as I spread some of the medicinal cream inside of him.

“Shush, you’re doing so well Pet. I’m almost done. Keep asking me questions. Occupy your mind with other things.” I suggested.

“Angelus is kind of psycho. How do you know he won’t just kill us all? He can’t be fond of you right now.” Xan asked, sounding more than a little concerned at the prospect, which surprised me. I was actually quite touched that the boy was still concerned for me despite what I’d just done to him.

“It’s always a risk, but I think he’s enjoying these head games too much,” I answered, hoping that I was right on this count. “Besides I’ve managed to speak to Dawn. She understands what she has to do. She knows that she has to keep him and his new childer happy. Hopefully he’ll grow attached to her, before he tires of playing with her. The fact that I’ve officially put claim to you actually helps her chances. It would give me too much status in our clan to be the only Master with a blood pet,” I explained, quickly covering the walls of his torn passage with a thick coating of the healing cream.

“Jesus Christ Spike, she’s 17. Your answer is to tell her to whore herself out to that creep,” he shouted at me from over his shoulder. He seemed to, the very least, have forgotten about what I’d been doing. Didn’t even notice when I finally pulled my fingers out of him.

“All done,” I announced needlessly reaching down and pulling the covers over his nude body.

“Spike, she’s just a kid,” He mumbled sleepily into his pillow. The boy was completely worn out.

“Buffy was even younger than that when she took up with Angel. Bugger, I never thought I’d miss the great big poofter. Try and sleep for a bit, I’ll see about getting you something to eat when you wake up,” I suggested, running a hand through his still damp hair. Xander just nodded sleepily. Curling up into an almost fetal position, he drifted into a troubled sleep.


	3. Part 2

It was almost sunset by the time I woke up the next night. I had slept almost 18 hours. I was still a little sore, but Spike had been right. I felt a lot better. I didn’t hurt nearly as much as I had the night before, at least not physically. I rolled onto my back and nearly jumped out of my skin, when I noticed him casually standing against the wall watching me.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about the souled vampire. A part of me burned in rage at the way Spike had violated me, and I wanted to hit Blondie over and over again. Yet another part of me was terrified of him. He’d held me down and taken something that no one had the right to touch without permission. I felt like he’d stolen some deep part of me that I’d never get back. Unfortunately, there was also a part of me that understood what he’d done, the terrible choice that Angelus had left Spike with. If I’d been put in a room with one of the girls and been given that choice, if he’d made me choose between having to hurt them or watching him kill them… I’m not honestly sure what I would have done. I’m not sure what he could have made me do in order to protect one of them.

“Afternoon, how do you feel?” he asked me, taking a seat next to me on the bed. I was not going to scream like a girl. No matter how much I wanted to.

“Better I guess,” I answered in what I hoped was a non-committal tone. I’d pretty much decided I believed Spike, but that didn’t mean I was ready to be all buddy buddy.

“Good. I sent one of the minions off for some breakfast. They should be back soon.”

“Okay,” I answered.

“We have some things to go over. You want to talk or eat first?” He asked me.

“What kind of things?” I asked. I wished I didn’t sound so nervous.

“The way things are now, the way they’re going to be,” he answered. What the hell did that mean?

“I…” I started to say, just as an unfamiliar vampire stumbled into the room holding a tray full of food. It was just oatmeal, with raisins, but it smelled like heaven to me. My stomach took the opportunity to make itself known.

“Breakfast first then, I guess,” Spike laughed. The minion left, dumping the tray unceremoniously on my lap, all the while under Spike‘s watchful scowl. We just sat in silence while I ate my porridge and orange juice. I wasn’t even able to eat all of it.

“All done? Don’t worry, your stomach has shrunk. You’ll get your appetite back,” Spike assured me, before removing the tray and sitting back down even more uncomfortably close to me. I just nodded.

I jumped when Spike ran his knuckles softly against the week’s worth of stubble on my cheek. “What are you doing?”

“Touching you,” he answered simply.

“Stop it,” I demanded trying to brush his hand away.

“No,” he said simply, shaking his head. Why was he playing with me like this?

“Why are you doing this,” I whispered trying to blink back tears. I felt betrayed.

“Because you’re my pet and I can touch you if I like.”

“I get it. Angelus said you had to claim me or he’d kill Dawn, but what’s with the head games now Spike?”

“It wasn’t a one time thing Xander. Angelus has made it clear that not only was I to claim you as a pet, I am to use you as such. If I don’t, the deal to protect Dawn is forfeit. He also promised to turn you over to the minions. Their playthings don’t have a very long lifespan, pet,” Spike told me.

“Can’t you just tell him that you’re using me?” I asked hopefully. Already knowing that would never work.

“He’d be able to smell the truth. You already know that. I’m sorry Xander, but you need to get used to the idea of being buggered.”

“Can’t we just take Dawn and leave?”

“If we could, I would have already Pet. He’s just too strong right now. With his new childer there are just too many of them.”

“I don’t know if I can go through that again Spike,” I admitted, refusing to meet the vampires gaze.

I heard Spike sigh before he took my chin and gently forced me to meet his eyes. “It won’t be like last time. He’s agreed, provided I make use of you, that I can treat you however I like. I promise you Xander, it will never be like the last time again. I’ll always try to make it as painless and enjoyable for you as I can.”

Spike just smiled at me when I snorted. “10% of the world is bent, there must be something there. All I want you to do is try to relax and not fight it. All right? That’s all you have to worry about. Let me take care of the rest. I promise I’ll do my best to take care of you for the rest of our time together.” I suppose that I should have been grateful he didn’t say “for the rest of your life.”

“As your slave,” I replied bitterly.

“We can only play the cards we’ve been dealt, Pet. Speaking of the more unpleasant aspects of our new relationship, I have something for you.”

“What’s that?” I asked skeptically.

“Your collar,” He answered evenly, standing up and moving away from the bed.

“My what?” I demanded angrily. If the bleached out freak thought…

“Sorry Pet. It was non-negotiable. He insisted,” the souled vampire sighed, walking over to the large dresser on the other side of the room and collecting a beautifully polished cherry wood box with mahogany inlays. Holding it front of himself, Spike crossed the room and came to sit next to me again. “There you are,” he said simply, handing me the box. Spike quirked an eyebrow at me as I began to snicker, it was such a familiar look that it was actually comforting.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that the box and the way you gave it to me, it’s almost like you’re proposing.”

“In a way pet, that collar is as important as a wedding band. It symbolizes my commitment to you and, of course your submission to me. Open it, Xander,” he requested. He almost looked nervous.

I felt clumsy as I worked open the case’s latch. “Wow,” I gasped, fingering the finely worked leather collar inside. “It’s actually really nice, I guess.”

“Glad you like it. Do you need help putting it on?”

“Yeah probably,” I answered. My hands were shaking and I don’t think I actually could have managed.

He smiled at me, taking the rich leather from my hands and stretching it against my throat. “There my lovely,” Spike chuckled, as he buckled up the collar. I looked down, certain that my cheeks were burning. “It actually looks good on you, Pet”

“So now what?” I asked him uncertainly.

“Now we survive, Pet. At least until I can figure out how to get us and the Bit the Hell out of here.”

“Any idea how we’re going to do that?” I asked. I really would have liked to hear a brilliant master plan right then. Although Spike, he was never really great at the master planning.

“None whatsoever. There’s one more thing Xander,” he told me uneasily.

“What’s that?” I asked. Spike’s whole demeanor was making me nervous. It was plain he didn’t think I was going to react well to what he was about to say. He was right.

“According to vampiric law Angelus is the leader of my clan, as such he is afforded certain privileges. For one thing, myself and his childer belong to him. He can do practically anything he wants to us. As a result anything that we posses in turn also belongs to him. Do you understand what I’m saying, Pet?” Spike asked evenly.

It took a second for what he’d just said to register. It took another second to remember that according to demonic law I was now his property. I just started shaking my head in denial. “No please, please don’t make me, Spike,” shit, I was crying again.

Spike didn’t even hesitate. He just pulled me into his arms and I let him. He should have been the last person I’d want touching me, but he was unfortunately also the only source of comfort I had at the time.

“If it ever does happen it won’t be my choice. Just remember no matter what he does, I will always take care of you. Besides, he’s never shown that kind of interest in you. If that’s what he wanted he could have kept you for himself. You’re not really his type, Pet. There’s no need to worry about that today. I just wanted you to be aware and prepared for the possibility.”

“Jesus, any other nasty surprises?”

“Not that I can think of, no. But this is the Hellmouth after all.”


	4. Part 3

For someone who had once been the most feared vampire in all of Europe Angelus showed a distinct lack of common sense, in my opinion. It was probably his artistic personality; everything had to be a drama for the new Master of the Hellmouth. He was far too obsessed with tormenting Spike, not that watching the souled vampire try to protect his little concubine didn’t have its own intrinsic entertainment value. By all accounts the irksome faux blond and the irritating former construction worker had been like oil and water before Angelus killed the Slayer, though I never had the opportunity to witness it myself. I left Sunnydale behind long before Spike became a permanent member of the Slayer’s inner circle.

Ordering his grandchilde to violently claim one of the Slayer’s oldest comrade’s in arms was amusing, watching the actual event in a room full of bloodthirsty demons, even more so. The scent of the Scooby’s fear was intoxicating. Lord knows, even when I was human there were days I wanted the little pillock put in his place. It was also plain that it was devastating to Soulboy, which was something I was certainly always willing to endorse. Their suffering was as delicious as any blood I’ve tasted. Leaving them alive after the fact however, just wasn’t a sound strategic decision.

Though I must admit I did enjoy watching Spike carry out Harris like some swooning maiden. It still was not worth the risk, which I made clear to my Sire, despite the thrashing I knew it would earn me. It seems that, even then, I wasn’t so different from my human self after all.

While keeping the girl did provide some extra measure of control over Drusilla’s childe, the fact was that William the Bloody was and always will be unpredictable. It’s his nature. It unfortunately made anticipating his next move problematic, if not nearly impossible. For every given situation there are ten different ways in which Spike might respond and generally at least seven of those make no earthly sense. His newly acquired soul did not appear to have changed that one bit. I must say in his defense though, it’s no so much that Spike’s actions didn’t make any sense it’s, that frankly, they most often only made sense to him.

There are of course some hard and fast rules when dealing with Spike. The first of which being that he would do anything for his loved ones. You only have to look at his century long relationship with Drusilla to corroborate that statement. In the case of Buffy Summers it meant protecting her younger sister with a single minded devotion rarely seen in any creature, let alone a vampire. This dedication apparently did not end with the Chosen One’s death, but became ever more potent. After both of the deaths William the Bloody had borne witness to, actually. This meant of course that Spike would never stop trying to find a way to free himself and the girl, which in my estimation made him very dangerous.

Spike is above all ruled by his emotions, though the trait does seem to have calmed imperceptibly with the addition of his soul. Sire doesn’t see it; the blond vampire is as always belligerent and disrespectful toward him. He still sees him has the wild fledge he tried to shape in his own image. He clearly believes that his grandchilde only obeys out of fear, for the Scoobies sakes. He’s of course correct in part, but if one watches Spike unobserved you come to see that a great deal of his behavior is an act, a persona that William the Bloody has been cloaking himself with for years.

He is for one, far better educated than I had previously expected. He’s also a keen observer of human and demonic behavior. He uses those skills to manipulate situations to his advantage and the loud-mouthed undead punk rocker guise to keep others from realizing that he’s doing so. He lulls his adversaries into thinking that he’s not a threat. He’s quite the little manipulator.

It was probably fortunate for all concerned that there is one part of the Spike façade that was not contrived; the vampire has the attention span of a gnat. If he could have held his focus on any given thing for more than five minutes he would have been a much more effective adversary for Angel and Buffy. If not for all of his uncontainable energy, the irritating demon would probably have taken over the world or at the very least the Hellmouth by now.

As much has Spike’s concentration can be described as fleeting, he is also obsessive in his own way. Despite multiple failures he will keep going until his goals were met. His short term plans might often fall through, but the shorter vampire is probably the most tenacious individual that I’ve ever encountered. This was why I so adamantly advocated dusting him. The last thing anyone needs is an erratic enemy that doesn’t know how to give up.

Now The Council’s actions I could easily anticipate five moves ahead. Steeped in their centuries of traditions, they where as they always had been highly predictable. It’s why they’d never understood Buffy Summers effectiveness as a Slayer. Even though I was once trapped by the same rigid thinking, I could see how useful the Scoobies had been. After all the proof was in the pudding as it were, Buffy had lived an absurdly long time for a slayer. Of course, in there lies part of the problem, the Watchers’ Council has always found 16 year old girls so easy to control. Conveniently after a slayer passes, a brand new super powered little girl pops up to replace her.

That is until my dear Faith showed up. How unfortunate that the slayer line seemed to run through the dark slayer and not Buffy Summers. After Buffy sacrificed herself for her sister, no new chosen one was called. It must have sent the old boys into a right dither. The slayer controlling the line of succession safely locked away in a Californian maximum security prison for the next 25 years or so, quite stubbornly refusing to bow to any of their pathetic attempts to eliminate her. She never said anything to Angel on his many visits, as far as I know, but as I said they are infinitely predictable.

At any rate, seeing as no new slayer was forthcoming, Travers and his sycophants had been forced to concede that they would have to rely on the Summers girl. How surprised they must have been to realize that the little girl they expected to so easily regain control of was now a head strong woman. I almost wish I had been there to see her demand Giles’ back pay.

With no new slayer at their disposal I had no fear of those fools. I knew it would take them the better part of the next decade to argue changing their methods, much less mounting an attack against us. Seeing how effective the Slayer’s bunch had been they could have worked on replicating the feat. Trained witches and half demons to form ready made ‘Scooby’ units for future slayers. But this of course will never happen, there are years of tradition to uphold after all. Not an original thinker in the lot, except one. Sadly, he was the one that worried me.

If we’d dusted Spike and killed Xander and Dawn as I suggested, I’m fairly confident that the wretched man would have happily stayed in England doing whatever it is he does there. Possibly drinking himself into oblivion, maybe returning to the Council’s embrace in an effort to annoy Travers to death, either option would have suited me just fine. Keeping them alive gave him hope, some tiny part of his precious Slayer that he could get back. It would eventually bring his focus unto us.

Rupert Giles is enough of a self involved prick that I was sure we had some time before he removed his head from his own arse and stopped mourning his precious Slayer. Eventually though, he would remember his captured friends and make some sort of ridiculous attempt to rescue them.

What worried me was that Spike knew this as well. Rupert has none of Spike’s problems holding his focus and is an excellent strategist. Even though the two of them loathed each other, in this endeavor I knew they would cooperate. They would do whatever needed to be done to save the girl. Giles was eminently suited to doing whatever needed to be done.

Such a fuss being made over one teenage girl, not even a slayer at that. Looking at her just after Angelus had taken her on; I couldn’t see anything really spectacular. She was tall and thin, not the petite sort of woman that my Sire normally seems to be drawn to. Her features, in particular her mouth, seemed altogether too large for her face. She wasn’t unattractive though. She had really quite lovely big blue eyes. Tall and reed like she reminded me a bit of my darling Fred, though even at that age it was plain to see that Dawn had been blessed with larger tits.

Of course there was also her youth and innocence. Angelus did so enjoy corrupting purity, making a mockery of it in fact. He kept the girl dressed up like an indecent school girl for months. In addition to all of that, of course, was the fact that she was Buffy’s sister. Probably would have deflowered the girl on her sister’s still cooling corpse if he’d thought of it at the time. Just so the hated soul would have the memory should the bothersome thing ever show itself again.

That of course was no longer likely. We’d taken measures to make sure that would never happen again. It was after all why he’d turned me. So that he would have someone to worry about those details for him, so that he could concentrate on what he does best, tormenting his victims. Angelus had always considered torturing his subjects the highest art form. Sire had lost perspective last time he’d been out. He’d been out of control, his rage at being confined behind Angel for over a century overwhelming him. It had occurred to Angelus just before he was to begin slaughtering me that I might be of some further use to him. That he could heed my counsel, much like his souled counterpart had done.

For me not much had changed, aside from being liberated from my pesky mortal conscience. The only thing that upset me really is that he’d turned Winifred. He’d let me play first though. I’d shown her the error of choosing Charles over me.

Of course while Fred had suffered for hours at the hands of myself and Sire, she had eventually been turned. I know that my desire to see the jezebel killed was emotional. I realized that even then. I think I wanted her still even in the infancy of our dark family. I could see her usefulness has well. There had been cases where her knowledge had been nearly as useful as mine during our time with Angel Investigations. But while Winifred had her scientific skills and I had my occult knowledge, Charles was merely muscle and minions were in no short supply.

I know that it probably sounds hypocritical, but I was very pleased that Angelus had let Winifred and I keep him. Unlike the others though, I knew no one was coming for Gunn. Charles had turned his back on his old followers when he’d come to work for Angel and they had pretty much washed their hands of him. He fought me so hard in those early days, though he did seem to prefer my company to Winifred’s. He’d always come back from her rooms in worse shape then when he left mine.

I distinctly remember sitting on one of the recliners in the den as she handed his leash to me one day about a week after Spike had claimed the boy. I was still so young then. Hadn’t been out of the grave more than a couple of months at that point, far too young to have a pet, but Sire liked to indulge us. I think he also enjoyed making us share him, watching us fight over him like children over a favored toy. That is after all what he was. Only unlike Alexander, Charles had no official claim on him. Only my presence or Winifred’s protected him from the minions. Though Doc, as some of the minions had taking to calling her behind her back due to her penchant for performing gruesome experiments on her meals before finishing them off, had a tendency to loan him out to various male minions. She liked to watch them use him. Another reason he preferred my company.

I made use of him and I wasn’t always gentle. I occasionally hurt him, but tended to simply prefer something warm in my bed and around my cock. Once I’d gotten tired of taking out my anger on him over Fred’s choice, I was relatively kind, as long as he didn’t fuss.

That day I could tell that Winifred had been indulging. His back had been covered in welts and bruises and he’d reeked of at least a half dozen minions. She’d brought him to me half naked, only wearing skimpy shorts. My eyes flashed gold for a moment as I’d growled accepting the chain from her dainty hand. I’d stopped just short of slipping unwillingly into my true face something both she and I knew my Sire would have punished me severely for.

“There you are Pryce, I got him all primed for you. I’ll see you in a couple of days Baby, be a good boy for Master,” the dark haired vampiress had cooed, bending low to kiss his kneeling form. She’d cuffed him when he couldn’t quite suppress a shudder.

“Winifred,” I’d warned. She’d smirked at me, looking over a leather clad shoulder, before walking away. I’d reached down and petted him as he’d subconsciously leaned into my leg.

“Poor Charley. Who would have thought that she’d end up being the most vicious of the pair? Maybe she hasn’t forgiven you for sitting by and doing nothing while your protector here and I raped her,” Angelus had taunted laughing, idly fondling one of Dawn’s breasts. The mortal had stiffened against me. “Better hope that Pryce doesn’t do something to piss me off. I might have to give you to her exclusively.”

Brilliant. I wasn’t like Angelus and Winifred, or the rest of the childer in the court for that matter. I am a vampire. When I got hungry I ate someone, but I had absolutely no interest in the mind games the others seemed to delight in. Even I had had to admire what my sire had just done, twisting the knife in the vampire hunter’s heart reminding him that he was seeking comfort from one of the very creatures that had tortured and killed the woman he had once loved, playing off his guilt all the while threatening to take away his only source of safety and security.

We’d tied him to a chair and left him to watch as we defiled and tormented Fred. Charles had virtually shredded the flesh of his wrists and ankles trying to break free that night. He still bears the scars. He’d initially only been kept alive as a first meal for Winifred. I’d hurt him in those long hours before she awoke, forced myself into him repeatedly without care or preparation. Yet she still frightened him more than me. She hadn’t wanted to kill him straight away; she’d wanted to play virtually unheard of for a newly risen fledge. The hunger is all consuming. I hadn’t even thought as I made my first kill. I’d had one focus only: Blood. Not her though, she’d wanted to make him scream first. That’s when Angelus had decided that we could keep him.

I was brought out of my reverie by Charles. He’d started trembling slightly against me. He’d looked exhausted and I doubted that she’d let him sleep. He probably hadn’t eaten either.

“Did she feed you, Charles?” I had asked rubbing the back of his neck.

“No, Master.” Oh how he’d hated saying that. Gunn had never been submissive by nature, but he’d been both tired and hungry that day. It had taken some time, but he’d eventually learned that some battles just weren’t worth fighting. When faced with a choice between starvation and his pride, keeping up his energy level was more important.

I had called over to one of the minions and ordered him to get Charles something to eat. Pushing his head into my lap I’d told him to rest until the food came. He’d barely resisted. He’d fallen into a light doze in seconds.

Spike had chosen that moment to stroll into the room. His gaze immediately went to the teenager perched on Angel’s lap. She’d been has always scantily attired. Upon seeing his disgraced grandchild Angelus had slid a powerful hand under the tiny pink plaid skirt his pet was wearing. She’d squeaked in surprise, but otherwise didn’t move.

“Spike, It’s not polite to stare. Didn’t I give you your own Scooby to play with?” The larger vampire had smirked, before violently claiming Dawn’s mouth. The blond vampire had looked has though he was barely suppressing a growl.

“Doesn’t smell like it,” a cheery voice had remarked. “It doesn’t seem fair that Pryce and Winifred get a pet and even Spike gets a pet, but that I don’t. Especially when he’s not even using him,” the youngest member of our dark family observed.

“Red does make a valid point,” Angelus had mused. “You’re not following through with our agreement William. Maybe I will turn him over to my girl.”

“He’s been too torn. I’ve let him heal that’s all,” the souled vampire had replied.

“Such a generous master, I’ve fucked my dirty girl plenty of times in the past week. You like having Master’s cock inside you don’t you sweetheart,” our clan leader had leered, taking care to make the movement of his hand between her legs more obvious.

“Yes, Master,” She’d whispered back eyes downcast. She had begun to respond to his touch, I had been able to smell it from where I was sitting and I knew that Spike must have been able to as well.

“If I don’t smell him all over you tomorrow I turn him over to the minions. Are we clear Will?” the older vampire had warned.

“Crystal,” Spike had snapped back, turning and leaving the room in a huff. Just then a simpering little minion, that I hadn’t recognized, had returned with a tray for Charles. I’d shaken his shoulder needlessly, knowing full well that he’d woken the moment Spike had arrived and voices had begun to rise. Unhappily he’d begun eating from my hand, too starved to risk losing the meal.

“But Daddy, Why can’t I have him? I’m so bored” Red had chimed in petulantly.

“Hush, Princess. You don’t want Spike’s sloppy seconds. You want a pet, we’ll get you one. We’ll go to the cells and get you one,” Angelus had soothed. I’d been inwardly pleased by their departure. My pet had needed to rest badly and after they left I’d had no reason to linger. I’d casually fed Gunn the rest of his meal, not wanting to seem too eager to leave in front of the minions before giving his lead a quick tug and leading him out of the room.


	5. Part 4

I bathed a lot in those early days. I’ve been told that it’s not an uncommon reaction to what happened to me, the compulsive need to try to get clean. With time and distance it fades. Sadly, Time and distance were two things that were in short supply. Both Spike and I were prisoners of war. I was in the old Victorian claw foot tub showering the day Spike came to my bed for the first time since our joining. The stiffness and fatigue was finally starting to disappear, I noticed, as I let the warm water cascade over my body. A tremor ran down my spine, I knew full well that Spike had been waiting for me to fully heal before… Although the vampire had promised not to hurt me, I was absolutely terrified. I tried to banish visions of my claiming from my mind. I had to think of that night, as my claiming I couldn’t stand to think of it as anything else. It was just too much to bear. As it stands I’m still having vivid nightmares and flashbacks every once in a while. Spike says that I need to give myself some time to heal. I know he’s right. I say the same thing to the others all the time, but I guess I just hate how it controls my life.

I stayed under the spray for an absurdly long time, trying to make myself unsoiled again. Eventually, I turned off the old fashion shower, deciding that no matter how much I wanted to stay in the bathroom forever, I’d have to face Spike someday. I quickly toweled myself off and slipped into a clean pair of cotton drawstring sweats that I’d found in the large armoire in the corner of the bedroom. Finally, I put my collar back around my neck and closed the clasp, something I was, alas, becoming more and more adept at each time I did it. I studiously avoided my steamy reflection on the way out the door.

I gasped in surprise when I heard Spike’s voice as I skulked back into the bedroom.

“Was about to send in a lifeguard, Pet. Was worried you’d drowned,” the vampire told me smoothly as he reclined on the bed with a bowl of…

“Why do you have popcorn?” I asked. It shouldn’t really have been all that surprising. It’s not as though I’d never seen the peroxide menace eat human food before. At least he hadn’t drenched it in blood this time, though I really hadn’t seen him do that very much since he’d come back from Africa.

“Thought we could watch a movie together. Come here and lay down next to me. Come on don’t be shy,” he invited, patting the empty spot beside him on the bed.

“Spike…” I replied uneasily, knowing it wouldn’t do any good.

“You need to get used to being close to me. I know you’ve probably seen this, but I tried to select something you’d enjoy,” he smiled, trying to tempt me.

“What is it?” I asked wearily. I knew I should at least make an effort.

“Spiderman,” the vampire answered, holding out his hand.

“That’s a good movie. I have seen it before,” I answered, staying right where I was.

“Come sit with me Xander,” the vampire ordered me gently.

“This is all leading up to you screwing me, isn’t it?” I whispered, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. I couldn’t even bring myself to make eye contact.

“Yeah, it is,” Spike sighed, getting up and walking towards me. I tried unsuccessfully not to flinch. “Look, Xander,” Spike continued, taking me by the hand, “we have to do this, be together. You understand that don’t you?” I just nodded mutely, refusing to meet the vampire’s gaze. I was utterly shocked when I felt Spike’s lips gently brush my own in a chaste kiss.

“Let’s not play his game. Come and enjoy the movie with me. I promise we’ll just cuddle a bit, nothing scary.”

I sniggered at the blond’s use of the word cuddle. Yeah, he’s the Big Bad all right. Spike just smirked at me, leading me to the bed. “And what happens after the movie Spike?” I asked. I knew my voice sounded unsteady as I looked down at the bed.

“Why don’t we worry about after, later,” my blond companion responded.

“Spike… I’ll try,” I nodded stiffly, allowing him to pull me into his arms and unto the bed.

I could feel the vampire gently rubbing circles along the small of my back. I wanted to run screaming. Instead I reached for the popcorn. Spike continued the soft stroking as he started the movie. I rested my head on my new master’s shoulder, forcing myself to watch the screen. I’d loved this flick when it had first come out. I’d dragged the girls to see it with me more than once despite some of their many protests. I couldn’t seem to concentrate on it that night.

I couldn’t suppress a small whimper, when I felt Spike’s arms tighten around me. The quick kiss to my forehead did little to reassure me.

“Am I hurting you?” My new master asked. All in all, Spike had been incredibly solicitous of me since the whole mess had started. He was a little bit of a mother hen, actually. It was kind of irritating to have him fussing over me all the time. I had to constantly remind the part of myself that wanted to lash out at him, that he’d been forced into this situation too.

“N… no,” I shook slightly, in spite of myself. “Why are you touching me like that? You said just cuddling.”

“That’s all we’re doing, Pet,” the vampire pointed out.

“I’m kind of freaking out here Spike,” I admitted.

“I know. Try not to worry and I promise I’ll make you feel really good,” the vampire smiled, brushing a few stray strands of hair off of my forehead as we settled down to watch. “Why do you like this movie so much? Seems kind of silly from what I’ve seen so far,” Spike asked suddenly.

“Spiderman is the best of the superheroes! He’s fast, he has super strength, he’s agile and to top it off he’s highly intelligent. Plus he’s a regular guy, with normal problems; he has to work for a living, pay rent and stuff. He doesn’t have his Bat fortune to fall back on,” I replied a little testily.

“Oi… The Dark Knight’s parents were murdered. Not like he did the whole hero thing as some sort of playboy’s hobby,” he replied indignantly.

“You’re a Batman fan?” I gasped incredulously. No wonder he used to make so many DC references about Angel. An inane image of Spike sitting in his crypt or at the factory reading comics in the dead of night with a flashlight like some little kid popped into my head.

“I used to read them once in a while…” the vampire began. I couldn’t help myself. I just snickered. “Watch the damn tely,” Spike grumbled, but I could see he was working hard to suppress a smile.

Snuggled against Spike’s hard body, I tried to do just that. The vamp’s hands rubbing along my back were distracting though. I knew that he was only trying to help, to comfort me; but the petting was actually having the opposite effect, reminding me of what was going to happen when Peter Parker walked out of that cemetery.

He shifted from underneath me and started gently lapping my throat as the movie started wrapping up. His gentle hands started exploring my upper torso, before deciding to stop and gently squeeze my nipples. Spike bent his head to suckle them each in turn as the credits started rolling. It completely failed to distract me from Spike’s hands reaching for the ties of my sweats. I had to force myself not to push him away as I felt my fear rising.

I tried not to tense as my new owner started pulling the soft sweatpants off of me. Somehow I managed. I even forced myself to raise my hips a fraction to help. Intellectually I knew this needed to happen. It didn’t make it any easier to deal with though. My heart nearly stopped when I felt the vampire’s cool mouth envelop my still limp penis. I don’t know why he bothered. I hadn’t felt a smidgen of physical arousal since the night he’d claimed me. I supposed I should just lay back and think of England. I’d never been to England though. Who the Hell had come up with that stupid expression anyway? Why would thinking of an island nation help someone get through unwanted sex?

God, we were about to have sex! I was going to have to have him inside me again. I knew he’d promised it would be different this time, but it’s just it had hurt so much the first time. I’d thought he was going to tear me apart. Suddenly, it felt like I had a boulder sitting on my chest. I couldn’t breathe. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get air into my lungs. The harder I tried the worse it got. It felt like I was breathing through a straw. My entire body started to shake. I thought I was going to be sick. I started pushing at him desperate to get him off me.

I felt him move away and I retreated until my back slammed violently into the headboard. I brought my knees to my chest trying to make myself as tiny as possible. Spike didn’t say anything for a long while. I remember thinking that there was no way I would ever be able to do this. I could still feel it, his unyielding body holding me down, his hardness ripping me open, making me bleed.

“Pet,” he whispered. “You need to calm down. It’s over and you’re safe. Can you take a deep breath for me Xander?” I wanted to yell at him to leave me alone. I wanted to scream that he’d caused all this, that this was all his damned fault. I also wanted to hide in the shelter of his arms and never come out. How incredibly messed up is that? I tried my best to listen to him. I concentrated on trying to take deep breaths and even out my breathing. I distantly heard the sound of his footsteps moving away and the sound of running water.

“Here drink this,” the vampire said softly bringing a glass of water to my lips. I sipped it without thinking, purely by reflex. I hadn’t even heard him come back. Loosing track of him seemed incredibly foolish even though he hadn’t made a single aggressive move towards me since the night I’d become his pet. I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t realize that he set up the entire little seduction scene for my benefit. And it had been a seduction, snuggling in front of the TV, watching a movie specifically selected for me, based on my preferences. God knows I’d sat through enough chick flicks with both Cordy and Anya, just to make them happy. He’d done it for me, so that I’d be more at ease. So I wouldn’t feel like I was being forced again.

“I’m sorry,” I found myself saying.

“Not your fault,” he answered without hesitation, reaching out to cup my cheek.

“Don’t. I can’t, it’s too soon,” I jerked away and suddenly the anger was back. Couldn’t he understand that his touch made me want to rub my skin raw?

“I know. I wanted to give you more time, but unfortunately our time is up,” the corners of his mouth turned up unhappily.

“What?” I demanded. Deep down I knew what it meant. Angelus had said something.

“I was looking in on Dawn earlier this afternoon,” Spike began warily.

“Is she okay? Is he hurting her?” I remember grilling him. It wasn’t fair. I knew he only wanted to protect her. At the time, though I was angry and I didn’t have anyone else to take my anger out on. Spike had pretty much kept me in our suite since the ritual. He hadn’t exactly forbidden me to leave, but he hadn’t offered to take me anywhere and I was smart enough to know not to venture out into a vampire infested house without him.

“She seemed fine. Didn’t look like she’d been harmed,” he reassured me. Deep down I knew that he was as concerned about Dawnie as I was. “Regrettably though, Red commented about you.”

“Willow?” My voice caught in my throat at the thought of my childhood friend. Jesse, Buffy, Willow, they were all gone now.

“Yeah. I know how important she was to you, but don’t forget what she is now. She mentioned that she couldn’t pick up your scent on me, in front of Angelus,” he reminded me.

“Oh shit,” I gasped.

“If that doesn’t change by tomorrow, you get turned over to the minions. I won’t allow that to happen,” he said in a tone that scared the Hell out of me.

“Spike, I don’t think I can,” I trembled. I hated feeling this way, so vulnerable. I’d been facing off with demons since I was fifteen for goodness sake, yet just thinking about what the formerly evil undead and I were going to have to do was making my stomach do really unpleasant acrobatics.

“Xander, we have to,” he repeated, as though it had somehow slipped my mind.

“Whether I want to or not? Is that it?” I lashed out.

“What exactly is it that you expect me to do Harris? If it was just you and me, I’d snap your neck myself to spare you what Angelus will have done to you. Regrettably, we have Dawn to consider. Is that what you want to see? Buffy’s sister raped by dozens of demons before she dies? Because I assure you that he’ll make you watch before he has the same thing done to you,” he barked finally losing his composure.

“No… Of course not… I…” I could feel the anxiety attack that we’d just succeeded in quelling bubbling back up.

“Bugger, it’s okay Xander. Bloody hell, I’m a wanker,” he sighed flopping down on the bed tiredly beside me. I only nodded miserably. Spike started to laugh at that. “Glad you’re in agreement mate. Oh, bloody Hell wish we didn’t have to do this.”

“Me too,” I laughed bitterly.

“I did prepare for this eventuality,” Spike ventured, stopping his examination of the ceiling and turning to look at me directly

“Prepare? How?” I asked uneasily. The reassuring smile that Spike had plastered on his face just didn’t look natural. Well maybe directed at Dawnie, but certainly not at me. Blondie was supposed to look at me with barely contained scorn and disdain. All in all his new found concern for me was wigging me out even further.

“I got my hands on a magical aid, a lust potion. I was hoping we wouldn’t need to resort to that, but…” he stopped mid thought. He was trying to avoid saying that I couldn’t handle the situation by myself.

“I’m sorry, I’m finding it difficult accepting the fact that I have to have sex with the person who...” I stopped, unable to even say the words.

“Believe it or not, not everything is a dig at you, boy. I may occasionally have had doubts about your wits, but I’ve never doubted your bravery. The potion, it won’t only make you want to get a leg up, it’ll alter your brain chemistry and create a false sense of euphoria. These potions can make it so you think that you can’t function without them. You could easily become addicted. With your family’s history…” he began. “Don’t give me that look. I lived with you, remember? Not deaf, whelp. Your folks weren’t exactly subtle either.”

“I’m not my parents,” I insisted. For all the vows I’d made myself back then, looking back it’s become plain even through the heaviest of my self-denial that I came very close to becoming exactly like them. The time right after I’d broken things off with Anya had been devastating. I’d begun drinking more and more heavily. Just a few beers at first, but I’d quickly graduated to whiskey. If I’d stayed on the same path... I’d rather not dwell on that. If one good came out of Tara’s death, it was that it forced me to re-evaluate my life. It was the worst possible reminder I could have gotten about how short and fragile life is. Even I wasn’t dense enough to ignore it. That bright light snuffed out just like that. It made me realize just how silly it is to waste what precious time we are given on this Earth destroying myself.

I miss Tara. There’s a tiny little part of me that thinks that Willow gave that SOB exactly what he deserved. There’s another one that’s glad that she and Joyce didn’t live to see what ultimately happened to Willow and Buffy, to me and Dawn and... to Spike. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t had to see it. There are nights when I can’t get the horrible slide show of what happened out of my head, it just loops on over and over in glorious Technicolor. I still wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and feel like I’m suffocating. I know I was lucky. I had it easy compared to some of the others. When I think of some of the sick games the other vamps subjected their pets to, I’m not sure I would have managed to survive with my sanity intact.

That night though lying in bed preparing to have sex with Spike for the first time since the joining rite, I didn’t see it that way. All I could feel was terrified. If Spike had something that would make that feeling go away even for just a little while, I wanted it.

“I’m not saying you are, but with your family history you’re even more likely than most to fall prey to this rubbish’s hold,” Spike persisted reasonably.

“I know it would be better if I could do without it Spike, but I just can’t. Maybe someday, but not tonight,” I finally conceded.

“All right, Pet,” he eventually nodded. I watched, losing the battle with myself not to tense up. I couldn’t conceal a flinch when he accidently brushed against me as he bent over me to open the drawer of the nightstand on my side of the bed. He pulled out a small vile filled with a viscous red liquid. He carefully pulled the stopper out of the delicate glass tube.

“Open wide and stick out your tongue,” he instructed. I must have made a face, because he actually gave me a nervous little smile. I still wasn’t used to his smile, his real smile not that scornful sneer I usually got to see. “A little bit of this goes a long way. Don’t want to give you more than a couple of drops, anything more could be dangerous.”

I nodded, biting my lip. I feel ridiculous remembering it now, but I distinctly recall scrunching my eyes shut before I obeyed. The stuff was cloying. I didn’t ever think I’d encounter anything that would be too sweet for me, but that stuff tasted like 2 full bags of sugar had been crammed into those two or three tiny drops.

“Sorry, Harris. If that bloody stuff tastes as awful as it smells, you have my most sincere and abject apology,” Spike snorted. With his enhanced senses it must have smelled like a candy factory had exploded to him.

“Spike,” I protested as he gently held my cheek in his hand.

“Hush. It’ll start to take effect soon. Just lay back Xander. We won’t start anything heavy until I know you’re ready,” my undead companion assured me.

“And how are you supposed to determine that I’m ‘ready’?” I snapped in irritation, actually bringing my arms up to make ridiculous air quotes.

“Vampire, lamb,” Spike said with his old sarcasm, making a show of sniffing me for extra emphasis.

“That’s just creepy, Bleach Boy,” I complained, shoving him ineffectually. “It’s rude to go around sniffing people. What are you, my neighbour’s nosy little Pomeranian?”

“Just the way vamps are, Pet. Can’t help the way I was made any more than you can help having brown eyes,” Spike answered, rubbing the same offending hand up and down my arm.

“You may not be able to help smelling me, but that doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way to sniff me like some sort of all you can eat buffet mister,” I pointed out heatedly, poking him in the chest.

“Sorry, mate. Guess I was trying to get a rise out of you,” he admitted. Given the situation we were in it wasn’t the best turn of phrase he could have used. Maybe it was all the stress I’d been under since Buffy’s death, but I couldn’t help it. I lost it, completely lost it. I just started laughing. Not quiet dignified chuckling like Giles does, but full on I’ve lost it milk spilling out of my nose uncontrollable snorting. Spike started looking at me like he thought I’d finally gone all the way around the bend. The confused look on his face, just made me laugh harder. Pretty soon I actually had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard.

“Pet?” he asked uncertainly.

“I think you have the mechanics backwards,” I managed to get out amidst my laughter.

“You’re a strange man Alexander Harris,” he chuckled. “How d’ you feel?”

“Warm, a little flushed,” I realized.

“Aphrodisiac’s starting to take effect,” he concluded, stretching to caress my flank. “Try to relax. We’ll go slowly.”

I was going to argue, tell him that I wasn’t ready yet, but then his hand moved up to my chest and his thumb started lightly brushing against my nipple. It sent a wave of heat through my entire body. Spike kept up the gentle caress, moving down to softly kiss my shoulder. Eventually he took my tit between his thumb and index finger, alternately rolling it and pinching it. Once it was a hard little peak he leaned over and took it between his lips. He took his time as he sucked and nibbled. His other hand reached across me to treat my other nipple with the same tender torture.

Even through the ever growing haze of the lust potion, I tensed when his other hand stroked my leg. “S’all right, luv. Just going to touch you a bit. Promise it’ll feel nice,” he shushed me, carefully kissing me. His kiss was strangely tentative. He didn’t try to invade my mouth like I’d imagined he would. I’d always sort of pictured Spike as a throw your lover up again the nearest surface and ravage them sort of guy. I was mildly disturbed that I’d thought of the Clairol King in that light at all. I found myself opening my mouth though and awkwardly returning his kiss. I gasped into his mouth as I felt the ghost of a touch along the delicate flesh of my inner thighs. He didn’t go any further though. He just continued the intimate petting.

He kissed his way down my throat. I shuddered when he deliberately ran his tongue over the mark he’d made a week earlier. Happily he didn’t linger and soon he was suckling my nipples again, spending a couple of minutes on one then switching to the other. He’d grab one firmly between his teeth, biting down just enough so than I felt a pinch and then let his tongue teasingly graze the tip. I felt a rush of warmth move up and down my torso. I was dismayed to feel the first stirrings of arousal. I shouldn’t have been surprised that I was feeling something below the belt, after all that was the entire raison d’être of the undoubtedly expensive syrupy concoction I’d ingested. Wow, I even babble in written form. I guess it’s natural. It’s something that I do when I’m nervous or insecure and delving into this even in this journal, well it’s tough.

It’s been difficult rehashing that time of my life, especially those first few weeks. I felt really alone and helpless back then... I don’t see how putting what happened to me during those horrible months on paper is going to help anyone. But, I promised I’d try. The therapist said it might help me find perspective, so that I can move on.

Well enough with the whining and self pity. Where was I? Oh yeah arousal. I’d started to feel turned on by what Spike was doing to me. His hand slipped a little higher and all of a sudden he was massaging by balls. I panted and unconsciously spread my legs so he’d have better access. I realized that my breathing had sped up. I was pretty far gone, but I was still aware that I shouldn’t be feeling the way I was. I knew that when the effect of the potion wore off I’d be disgusted with myself, but as his lips left my chest and started kissing and licking their way down, I couldn’t find it in myself to care.

Anya; a woman I can now admit I probably loved more deeply than I realized when I was still with her; was not shy, either in or out of bed. There were honestly a lot more things on my ‘no way, not ever, no how’ list than there ever was on hers. If I wanted to try something she was pretty much game for it. And as selfish as she could be in all other aspects of her life, she loved me and she enjoyed pleasing me. And yes, I mean ‘pleasing’ me. She liked making me lose control, making me come. She said it made her feel powerful, like in that moment she owned me body and soul. She said it was the closest thing to having her powers back she experienced while being human.

She was good at it too. Grant it most of my sexual experience up to that point in my life had been with Anya, but I can cheerfully boast that for all our issues, sex was never a problem for the two of us. And my girl went at fellatio with a single mindedness that was erotic in and of itself. I can now honestly say however that compared to Spike, it was like getting awkwardly groped beneath the old high school bleachers. He can do things with his tongue that I don’t think even Giles would have words to describe. I assume that I need not mention the entire lack of needing to breathe thing. That first time he blew me I thought he was going to suck my brains right out through my cock. I’m sure part of it was the buzz from the potion, but most of it was Spike. I’ve felt his lips around me enough times to know exactly how talented he is at the act of oral sex. How he got that capable is one of those white elephants that people make unspoken agreements to ignore.

He took me deep into his throat and swallowed. I almost lost it when I felt his throat contract around me. I didn’t even freak when he started running his finger softly along the flesh behind my balls. My entire body was screaming out for more of his touch. I was panting by the time he actually stopped. To my great shame I actually whimpered when he moved his mouth off of my penis.

“Shush... I’ll take care of you,” he whispered making his way back up the bed. Our next kiss was a little less strained. I didn’t need to force myself to reciprocate. At that moment I just wanted to melt into him, I’d have given him anything for some relief. Even so, I froze when I felt him reach for something under one of the pillows. It was like being doused in cold water.

“Spike... What are you...” I started to ask. My mind was so screwed up from the potion that turning my head seemed like a herculean effort.

“It’ll be alright,” he promised nibbling on my ear lobe.

“No,” I protested, reaching out and putting a restraining hand on his arm. “What are you doing?”

“Pet,” he tried his best to quiet me, but despite the measures he’d taken I was beyond that I think.

“I saw you reach under the pillows. Don’t keep things from me Spike. I’d rather know. I’m not thinking that I’ll be into any sort of surprises for the foreseeable future, so just tell me,” I managed to ask.

“I’m not trying to keep things from you. I just didn’t see the point in scaring you,” he explained in a husky voice.

“That proverbial ship has sort of sailed Fangless.” I pointed out and he actually smiled at me a little sadly at the old taunt. “I appreciate the thought and I’m almost high enough not to care, but unfortunately my mind is supplying all kinds of nasty ideas of things that you might be hiding under that pillow and what they could be used for. So like I said, I’d rather just know.”

“Okay,” Spike nodded. He carefully extricated my fingers from around his wrist and very deliberately pulled his hand out from under the concealment of the pillows. He ran a cool hand up and down my right arm in what I’m pretty sure was a subconscious effort to soothe me. “It’s just lubricant, nothing to fret over,” he added slowly unfolding his fingers from around the small plastic tube.

I knew I was being absurd. It’s not like I’d never seen the stuff before. I was also now all too aware of how painful the sexual practice that we were about to partake in could be without its use. So I should have been relieved. I really should have been, but I wasn’t. I hadn’t even lost my hard on for Heaven’s sake. He didn’t say anything, but I could tell that he could see that I was quickly slipping back into hysteria. There are times like then when everything he’s thinking is written all over his face. He didn’t say anything he just cupped my jaw again with one of those fine boned hands and kissed me. Spike is a great kisser. He makes you feel like you’re the most important thing in the universe, the only thing in his universe.

“Alright?” he asked his bright blue eyes blazing into mine. Despite the potion turning my blood into molten lava I still desperately didn’t want to do this. He swept his hand down my side all the way down to my hip and back up again and I forced myself to nod. I gathered up my courage and brought my lips back to his.


	6. Part 5

I remember the first time I saw them to together. Well I suppose I don't, but there's no point dwelling on that now is there? I decided a long time ago that I can either accept that the memories that I have are the memories that I have or I can spend the rest of my life obsessing about how I was brought into this world. After all what makes a person what they are if not the sum total of their experiences? Still intellectually I know none of it ever happened.

I know I've only actually been flesh and blood for a few years, but some of the images that the monks implanted in me are just so potent, that sometimes I find myself forgetting that the actual events never took place. Like, for example, the first time I saw them together.

I'd woken up in the middle of the night because some kind of noise had pulled me from a light sleep, probably a cat knocking over a trash can or something like that. I'd gone to the bathroom and noticed that Buffy wasn't in her room. Okay so by ‘noticed’, I actually mean that I’d carefully turned the door knob to her bedroom door and inched it open carefully so I wouldn’t wake her or Mom, but that’s semantics. The point is that her bed was still made. So I'd tiptoed down stairs under what I thought at the time was the Mom proof pretence of getting a glass of water. I was maybe ten or eleven years old at the time. Then I'd spied them outside in the shadows together behind one of the big old trees planted in the front yard. His arms were wrapped around her tiny waist. He completely dwarfed her. It was one of those dramatic picture perfect kisses like the kiss in that V–J day in Times Square photo from Life magazine. I think that that’s probably the exact moment my crush on Angel started. I remember thinking that he was the most handsome man I’d ever seen when their lips finally parted and I got my first look at those striking features bathed in the soft glow of a partial moon. The fact that he was tall, mysterious and Buffy’s friends whispered just a little bit dangerous only cemented my childish idolization.

Worshiping men in love with Buffy seems to have been a theme for me. I suppose its normal, little girls want to get to do what their cooler older sisters do. If only I’d known then… I certainly got far more than I ever bargained for.

It was different this time around. The last time Angelus had been loose, he’d been completely and totally out of control. His rage over having been trapped behind his soul for a century had absolutely overwhelmed him. Not that Angelus had ever been all that stable to begin with. From what I'd managed to glean from the other Scooby’s hushed conversations he'd always been more interested with his own special twisted version of performance art, than he’d ever been in self-preservation, but once he’d been released from the curse he’d been totally obsessed with tormenting Buffy. I once overheard Giles says that he thought Angelus wanted to make her as crazy as Dru, before he killed her. From what I’ve been told he very nearly succeeded.

Angelus’ reign of destruction didn’t start out with any macabre little displays of affection this time. No dead goldfish or pointless standoffs in public places. There weren’t any mind games when they came after us. It was a well planned surgical strike. Angelus was able to walk right in. We’d never bothered to revoke his invitation after he left Sunnydale; but, then it had never occurred to us that the guys at Angel Investigations would be stupid enough to release him again. I know that I’m not really being fair. I’ve talked to Gunn and I understand that they were desperate, but God damn it they could have at least warned us, but they didn’t even do that and we let him walk right into our living room.

We were expecting them for goodness sake. Wesley had freaking called ahead, because he ‘needed’ Willow’s help with a particularly old and rare spell. He’d oh so diplomatically suggested that it might be best for all concerned if Spike were out of the house when they arrived. Spike and Angel still didn’t have the easiest relationship and there was no use inviting a confrontation between the two Master Vampires. It was still hard enough for Angel to be around Buffy, add Spike to the mix... Well that could only lead to unnecessary bloodshed. We were so moronic. We had them come over when Spike and Buffy were out patrolling. Willow had baked cookies for them.

It feels horrible to say this, but I wish he’d just ripped out Wesley’s throat. I just know down to the marrow of my bones that if Angelus hadn’t created that conniving asshole, that all of this could have been avoided. I know that Pryce is the one that engineered the Scooby gang’s downfall. It showed too much forethought and finesse for Angelus. A guy who nails puppies to trees is not exactly what I’d call subtle. It’s not that Angelus is incapable of planning; you only have to read the Watcher Diaries about him to know that that isn’t the case. I do however believe that he’s too much of a hedonist to see all the repercussions of say taunting Buffy for months rather than taking her by surprise when he had the chance. That bastard Pryce though had no such shortcoming. He made sure that he and his new Daddy played out their Machiavellian plan to perfection.

My sister’s ex had managed to turn Giles’ once pathetically inadequate replacement into his very own high Lord Chancellor or something. When he’d first been released from the gypsy curse he’d been dangerous, but now that he had Pryce loyally seeing to running the day to day operations of his hellish new little Kingdom, he’d made himself almost untouchable. His mastermind managed to build him an Empire on my family’s blood.

Sometimes I think that maybe if we’d still had Tara it wouldn’t have been so easy for them. That she would have been able to see that we were dealing with two soulless monsters and not our friends. She’d managed to recognise that an imposter was using Buffy’s body, so just maybe she would have seen it in their auras or something. But that’s something we’ll never know, I guess. It makes me hate Warren Mears even more, as if I needed any other reason.

Angel had been able to just calmly stroll up our walk and politely knock on our front door. He’d flashed me that sad little kicked puppy smile of his when I’d opened the door. When I asked about Wesley, he just looked over his shoulder and tilted his head towards the open rear passenger door of his boxy old Plymouth. Why a vampire would choose to drive a convertible, I’ll never understand. Wes had pulled a huge pile of books, scrolls and notebooks out of the back seat and in typical fashion had promptly dropped them all over our driveway. Angel had just shaken his head, smiling indulgently before crossing our threshold and asking me how school was going this year.

I distinctly remember Willow’s smile as she made her way over to Angel. Then ‘Wesley’ lost the top of his newly restacked pile, again, and I’d decided to take pity on the poor guy just as Willow walked up to her killer with open arms. Like an idiot, I willingly joined a newly sired vampire outside of the protective barrier of our house. In retrospect it all seems so obvious now, a million little things about them that should have seemed off. Like the fact that Wesley Wyndam-Pryce had still seemed to be the same awkward by the book academic that we’d all so easily dismissed years before, despite having fought alongside Angel for nearly four years.

Willow didn’t even have time to mutter even the beginnings of a spell when they finally attacked. Angelus had stood there quietly exchanging greetings with her, just long enough for me to get within arm’s reach of his brand new baby fledge. They struck pretty much at the same time. There weren’t any big threats or gloating speeches. One second I could hear Angel telling Willow about how Cordelia was doing and the next he was ripping her throat out. I was in shock, frozen in place for a couple of horrific seconds. That was all my attacker needed. I didn’t even see Pryce move until he was on top of me. I didn’t have a stake on me, or any sort of weapon for that matter. At that point, I think that I would have settled for a fork or better yet a chopstick to stab him with.

Unfortunately for us our two vampire attackers had come prepared. I wish I could make myself forget the gruesome picture of Willow’s head lilting to the side exposing her mangled throat. I started to struggle in earnest when I saw Angelus bring his forearm towards his own fangs and realized what he was about to do. I felt the prick of the needle piercing my skin just as I saw him force his bloody wrist my friend’s mouth. The last thing I remember before losing consciousness was a shocked shriek coming from inside the house. Apparently our guestage had ventured up from where we’d stashed him in the basement.

I woke up hours later in a dark cold cellar. I noticed that I was actually chained to the floor by an ankle, as soon as I started moving around. It was so dark that it took me a moment longer to realize that I wasn’t alone. A big bald African American guy was sprawled down about three feet to my left. It was pretty obvious that someone or something had used him as a glorified punching bag and pretty recently too. He was eyeing me critically, probably trying to decide if this was some sort of trick. Apparently I passed the test.

“You all right?” he asked me, his voice sounded hoarse. He shuddered, hugging an arm to his ribs.

“No offence, but I think I should be asking you that question.”

He chuckled darkly. “You’re probably right, kid, What’s your name?”

I hesitated for a just a second, but figured if this was some sort of trap he likely already knew anyway. “It’s Dawn.”

“Gunn,” he introduced himself.

“Seriously? What kind of name is Gunn? It’s not some sort of stupid macho street name is it?” I asked him suspiciously. Actually, it sounded like some idiotic vampire nom de guerre.

“No,” he told me shaking his head. “I’ve got to stop introducing myself that way. It’s my last name. I’m Charles Gunn, but mostly I just go by Gunn,” he laughed. “So what the Hell does Angelus want with you kiddo? Well aside from you know...”

“How should I know?” I replied defensively. I remember thinking what the Hell does he mean by ‘you know’, and then I looked down at myself. Those undead creeps had changed my clothes while I’d been out. Someone had stripped me and changed me into a frilly ridiculous looking blush coloured baby doll. I found myself praying that it had been Wesley or one of the minions. The idea of Angelus taking off my clothes and re-dressing me in lingerie made me want to heave.

I took some doing, but I managed to pull myself out of my mini freak-out. I needed answers. And I wanted to know a little more about this guy before I started divulging all the Scooby gang’s secrets. “What about you? And how do you know about Angelus?”

“Was part of his crew, I’ve been working for the great vamp detective off and on for almost three years now,” the handsome man revealed. He tried to give me what I’m pretty sure was supposed to be a reassuring smile, but the effect was ruined by his shattered lip.

“How did this happen? Some sort of soul sucking demon? Did one of Angel’s enemies do this?” I asked, anxious for information.

“No,” he shook his head in self disgust. “It was us, we let him out. We thought we could control him.”

“You what?” I’m not ashamed to admit it, I lost it. “You FUCKING what?” Buffy would have flipped hearing me use that kind of language, not to mention Mom if she’d still been alive.

“You read a newspaper lately little girl? LA’s in permanent black out. It’s an all you can eat buffet out there! That psychotic looser was our last hope. Vamps and demons we’re coming in from out of town. People were trapped in their homes running slowly running out of food. He was our only hope,” Gunn hissed angrily.

“How’s that working out for you so far?” I snapped back sarcastically.

“Considering most of the others no longer have a pulse, I’d say pretty damned bad. Look It’s not like we sent Angel out for hookers and blow, kid. We got some intel that Angelus had some inside information on the Beast, the magma demon that was responsible for blocking out the Sun. Angel couldn’t remember, we tried everything we could think off. We were out of options. We took precautions. It’s not like we let him roam around free, we had him locked up. We knew what we were doing was dangerous. We should have listened to Angel. God, he was dead set against this. But we managed to convince him to do it. We guilt tripped him is more like it. We were all set to re-ensoul him when the shit hit the fan,” the injured man sighed, cradling his side.

“So what happened?” I asked, curious in spite of myself.

“Someone stole his soul,” he answered his eyes filling with anger and betrayal.

“How does someone steal a soul exactly?” I wanted to know. As far as I knew when Angelus wasn’t Angel, the soul just sort of floated around in the Ether.

“We had this shaman extract it for us. He had it sealed in a mystical jar. We locked it up at the hotel in the safe, but when we went to get it so the shaman could restore it, it was gone,” he explained blandly.

“Someone stole the jar?” I demanded incredulously. I hadn’t occurred to the Fang Gang to have someone guard the damn thing?

“Someone stole the jar,” he nodded morosely.

“Why?” I insisted.

“Don’t know, but if I ever make it to Hell I’ll ask the bitch,” he replied darkly.

“But who would?” I needed to know, someone who would willingly prevent Angelus from being locked away again was definitely a threat that Buffy needed to be aware off.

“Cordelia, or rather whatever came back in her place,” he grunted, obviously in pain. “She’s dead now. He killed her.”

“Oh my God,” I gasped. Not that she and I had ever been close, but she’d been Xander’s girlfriend. I’d known her for years. Sort of. I couldn’t imagine the former cheerleader willingly letting Angelus loose on the world. She’d been around the first time Angelus had been unleashed. She, more than anyone else in L.A. knew what he was capable of.

“Yeah, well it turns out that letting him out of his cage wasn’t such a hot idea,” he grumbled. We both jumped when we heard the door creak open.

“Oh I don’t know Charlie boy, I’d say it worked out pretty well. I got myself a whole new family. And I think we might even end up making an even better Scourge then my last little brood. By the way Pryce and Winifred asked me to send their regards! They’ll be looking in on you real soon,” Angelus taunted, sauntering down the stairs. I didn’t know what Angelus was talking about at the time. It makes be sick remembering it now. Gunn tried to hide his shiver of disgust, but couldn’t totally suppress a shudder.

“What do you want Angelus?” I snapped, trying to put on a brave front. Well, it wasn’t totally a front, I knew that my big sister would come for me. It just never occurred to me that she would lose, not even after seeing what he’d done to Willow.

“Oh I don’t know, world domination, your sister dead, for someone to torture Barry Manilow to death slowly and painfully? All of the above? But right now I’m here for you sweet thing. It’s time for your close up,” he grinned, grabbing my ankle with his free hand before reaching into his pocket for the key to my ankle cuff.

“Leave the kid out of this, you crazy blood sucker,” the injured man demanded. It probably would have been more effective if he hadn’t looked half dead at the time.

“Ah, and the dashing hero speaks. Seems to me last time you tried to save the damsel in distress it didn’t work out so well Charlie. So if I were you I’d shut the Hell up before I decide that you’re lonely down here and opt to set you up with some companionship. I’m sure some of the new boys would be willing to... spend some quality time with you,” the master vampire snarled angrily.

“Fuck you, asshole. You can’t keep me down here forever. Eventually I’ll get out and when I do I’m ramming a stake right up your fat undead ass,” Gunn spat out belligerently. He was brave, I had to give him that.

“So glad I didn’t kill you boy. I’m going to enjoy watching my little ones break you,” Angelus smirked nastily, as he reached down to unchain me. “As much has I’d like to continue our little chat, Dawnie here and I have a date.” My injured companion continued yelling out obscenities as the master vampire dragged me to my feet and practically carried me up the stairs. I tried to struggle, but I might as well have been fighting a mountain for all the good it did me.

I was blinded for a minute as Angelus steered me out of the basement and into a sparsely furnished hall. The light was actually very dim, but after the near total darkness of the basement my eyes had a difficult time adjusting.

“Is everything ready?” Angelus asked, steering me into a large mostly empty room. I couldn’t help but notice the shackles hanging off the far wall. I recoiled as Wesley silently fell into step beside us.

“Yes, everything is in place. Winifred just reported in and everything is going according to schedule. The Slayer and Spike have split up as we expected. Your meddlesome grandchilde should be occupied for at least the next half hour. By the time he gets Harris out and makes it back here the excitement should already be over, that’s if he even manages to find him before the little pillock suffocates. The more Harris struggles the more quickly he’ll expend his limited air supply. The Slayer should be here momentarily. I would suggest you restrain the girl before then, Sire,” the former watcher replied smoothly. I wanted to ask what they’d done to Xander, but Angelus never gave me the chance.

“He’s a bossy little thing,” he drawled in a ridiculous stage whisper. “But he has such good ideas. Now how’s about we experiment with a little bondage, Baby?”

“You’re disgusting!” I spat back, futilely resisting as he dragged me towards the back wall. He just laughed.

“Awe, come on, Darling don’t say that before you’ve even tried it,” the muscular vampire mocked, wrapping his powerful fingers into my hair and dragging me towards the back wall. I wasn’t able to stop him from lifting my arms up and shackling me in place. He kissed me for the first time. It was vicious, his tongue invading my mouth. There’s no doubting that soul or no Angel is physically attractive, I’d be a hypocrite to claim otherwise. There were times in the following months when I let myself dwell on that, let my mind trick itself into believing that I was with someone else. The first time his lips touched mine though, I was more repulsed than I ever have been in my life. The harsh reality was nothing like my juvenile schoolgirl fantasies. One of his hands snaked up between us and squeezed my left breast. I just stood there sputtering, too shocked to respond. “You stay right there. I’ll be back later, and then you and I can get to know each other better, much better.”

I hadn’t really let my gaze drift over the room until just then, but I was shocked when I realized exactly how many of them there were. This wasn’t a handful of bored fresh from the ground fledges they’d picked up at the cemetery or trolling for unsuspecting prey at the Bronze. Angelus had managed to amass a small army. Not just vampires either, but demons of all shapes and sizes. To this day I still have no idea how he managed to gather so many minions in such a short time. I remember a shiver running through me, a full body shudder.

He swaggered off towards his childe, half turning for a moment and blowing me a mocking kiss, before turning his full attention to the undead Brit he’d sired. He listened to the slimmer vampire attentively for a few minutes, nodding every once in a while at something Pryce said. Even though they weren’t standing that far away from me, I wasn’t able to make out any of what they were saying. I kept straining to hear, but they whispered in such low tones that only someone who shared their enhanced senses could have overheard. The artificial chirp of a cell phone finally broke the near total silence. Wesley nodded to his Master and I watched as Angelus’ army of minions came alive. Well as alive as an evil army half made up of the undead can be at any rate.

A particularly large blue and purple scaled demon leered at me as it leaned against the wall about fifteen feet away. Deciding to show off to his companions, he made to step towards me, but wisely backed away when Angelus’ moved back to my side and turned his gaze towards the encroaching demon promising grim retribution. He latched onto my hair and forced my lips to his again, plundering my mouth in a possessive display which I quickly realized had more to do with marking me as his personal property than any desire he had felt for me at that particular moment. Cowed, my new suitor turned away, making a show of ignoring me.

I heard Buffy before I actually saw her or more accurately I heard the mayhem that she caused as she carved a path through Angelus’ lackeys. The sound of growling and screeching filled the air. I could hear the noise of flesh violently pounding on flesh and of bones breaking as they connected with my sister’s fists. A fledgling standing straight across the room blocking my line of sight exploded into a cloud of dust and suddenly Buffy was there.

She said my name and I breathed a sigh of relief. She froze for a moment when she saw me, her face filling with fury and determination. I didn’t hear the whoosh of the shot from the tranquilizer gun, but I saw the look of surprise on Buffy’s face when it hit her. She looked down and pulled the dart out of her arm, tossing it aside carelessly.

“You’ll have to do better than that Angelus,” she hissed angrily, “let Dawn and Willow go and I might consider letting you get out of Sunnydale alive, for old time’s sake.”

“Buffy...” I tried to warn her. She’d be devastated when she found out about Willow.

“But Darling, I was just about to get to know your little Dawn a lot better. She’s grown up so fast and so pretty,” the handsome vampire sneered, stepping away from me so my older sister could get a good view of the sleazy getup he had me in. “As for Willow, I know it’s hard to accept Buff, but she’ll be happier amongst her own kind. Isn’t that right, Sweetheart?”

“Yes, Daddy. I’m sure I’ll be much happier here with you,” Willow’s voice sing-songed nastily, a group of minions stepping aside to reveal her. I gasped when I saw her. She was dressed in black from head to toe. Her hair was artfully pinned up except for a couple of strands that flowed freely over shoulders left nude by the satin corset top she was wearing. She reminded me of the descriptions I’d heard of that vampire version of her that had visited us a few years ago from that alternate universe, only more put together. I’d only ever seen Willow walk with that much confidence once before, the day Tara had died, when she’d almost destroyed the world.

“Willow, oh God, no,” Buffy whispered. I think my sister aged twenty years in that one second. She didn’t let it faze her though. Closing her eyes a second, she took a deep breath, steadying herself, before she stepped towards Angelus. She didn’t even glance at the two young vampires she dispatched along the way. “You’re dust,” she promised grimly, before kicking out and hitting him square in the jaw.

He staggered back, laughing. “You know, I bet you’re wondering if it was wise leaving William to fetch your doughnut boy. Poor little Xander trapped all alone in a tiny little box in the dark. You remember what that was like don’t you, Buffy? Waking up to find yourself buried alive. Could you feel the lid of the coffin pressing down on you?” he smiled viciously showing his true face and punching her with brutal force.

She retaliated by hitting him back just as viciously. “Shut up,” she snapped, landing a kick to his chest forcing him back a couple of steps.

“Course you had the benefit of super strength. You were able to break free. Your boy doesn’t have that luxury. Awe come on darling, chin up, there’s a chance that old Spikey might be able to dig him out in time. Depends on how much air he has left. If he was a smart boy and didn’t waste all his oxygen struggling trying to get out or panicking, he might still be alive,” the muscular vampire chuckled. This time when she hit him he barely moved.

She swung again aiming a nasty right hook at the side of her adversary’s head. Angelus caught her fist mid swing.

“What?” Buffy gasped in pain, dropping the stake she’d been carrying and folding in to her knees. “About time, Pryce,” he complained, grabbing her other arm and forcing her back to her feet. “Were you hoping she’d have time to stake me before this stuff kicked in?”

“I did warn you that the effects would not be instantaneous, Sire,” the younger vampire replied tonelessly from somewhere to my left, refusing to be baited.

“What did you do to me?” She demanded struggling in his grip.

“Nothing that hasn’t been done to you before, having your very own sullied watcher is useful as it turns out,” he smirked.

“Cruciamentum,” she whispered in horror. “But it took hours for the drugs to take effect last time.”

“Yes, well fortunately we now hold a very talented scientist amongst our numbers. She was able to synthesize a much more potent version of the formula,” Wesley explained in a bored tone. There was a ruckus coming from the other room and I felt the stirrings of hope when I heard Xander’s voice, followed by Spike’s telling someone to “Sod off”. Shaking his head the vampire who’d previously been Wesley Wyndham-Pryce calmly barked some orders to some of the demons standing to our left. A group of about a dozen large demons made their way towards the other room.

“I really am going to miss you Buffy,” Angelus said wistfully, right before digging his fangs into her throat.

I started screaming her name over and over, fighting against the shackles, but it was too late. The life was already being drained out of my sister.


End file.
